When you live with or share the responsibility of family life with a narcissist, you find that they don’t have the customary respect for your boundaries, one would assume. Boundaries help us navigate our relationships, careers, and personal lives with narcissists. However, setting boundaries can be challenging, especially if you fear being perceived as selfish or aggressive. As people pleasers, we are great at saying yes and get much joy from giving, but the truth is boundaries are crucial for your well-being and happiness.
If you need help setting boundaries, here are the six types of boundaries you must establish with a narcissist.
- Time Boundaries
Your time is valuable, and you must prioritize it accordingly, as the narcissist will see it as theirs. Setting time boundaries means communicating your availability to others and asking them to respect your time. Setting boundaries around your work schedule, personal commitments, and leisure time is essential. For instance, you can tell your boss you won’t be answering work emails after a particular time or inform your friends and family that you need time to recharge.
2. Intimate Boundaries
Intimacy is a personal matter, and everyone has their comfort level. Establishing intimacy boundaries means defining your limits around sexual consent, privacy, and desires. It’s essential to communicate your needs and respect your partner’s boundaries. For example, you can set boundaries around when and how you prefer to be touched, your sexual preferences, and how you communicate about sex.
3. Intellectual Boundaries
Your thoughts, ideas, and curiosities are unique to you, and you can express them without fear of judgment or criticism. Establishing intellectual boundaries means communicating your ideas and expecting others to respect them. It’s essential to set boundaries around how others validate your thoughts and opinions, and you can also choose to disengage from conversations that make you uncomfortable or feel invalidated.
4. Material Boundaries
Your personal belongings and property are yours, and you have the right to protect them. Setting material boundaries means defining your limits around your car, house, and personal items. Communicating your expectations around borrowing, sharing, or using your possessions is essential.
5. Physical Boundaries
Your physical space and comfort are essential for your well-being. Setting physical boundaries means defining your limits around people touching you and invading your personal space and physical needs. It’s critical to communicate your needs and respect others’ physical boundaries. For example, you can set boundaries around how close you prefer people to be, hygiene, and your need for sleep and exercise.
6. Emotional Boundaries
Your emotional needs are essential, and you have the right to protect them. Setting emotional boundaries means defining your limits around sharing your feelings, energy, and intimate details of your life. It’s essential to understand your emotional needs and to protect them. For example, you can set boundaries around when and how you prefer to share your feelings, your need for personal space, and how you respond to others’ emotions.
In conclusion, setting boundaries is crucial for your well-being and happiness. By establishing these six boundaries, you can protect your energy. Remember that setting boundaries are not selfish or confrontational but a sign of self-respect and healthy relationships. So, start developing your boundaries today.
Take Action:
Look also at your values and how you want to be treated, and then, with each of the six areas of your life, make a list of each specific boundary you will set!
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